Monday, April 14, 2014
Amiss - is my writing.
I'v tried to write here a dozen times, but however way I try, it feels so unsatisfactory. So I delete and try again. But nothing is working. The topic feels wrong, the substance seems empty and my style wanky. Everything seems pretentious and shallow.
My focus is lost. It feels a bit like flailing in the deep dark ocean, where the waves are crashing at me and I can't see behind me, or in front of me. And all I hear is the water rushing through my ears.
Even as I am writing this, I'm belittling it to a microscopic piece of dust. It has no meaning, no beginning, no ending. It's all over the place.
It feels like this blog is a luxury, that I don't deserve. That it is sub-standard, wasteful and pointless.
All I can do is be honest, and be me.
I am tired of holding it all close, but wanting to let it all out.
I am adrift, and can not unfurl my Ideas, thoughts, frustrations, art, future and past. Everything.
So. I'm taking a break, until I can get my shit together.