sleepless...

Don't you just hate it when you slip in to bed nice and early only to wake at witching hour and you just CAN NOT get your self back to sleep, and you try soooo hard and the more you try the more awake you become....

So then you just start THINKING..... yes I know, very bad bad move...

So why has my friend not phoned me back ALL week......? , What will Mana be like as a teenager, will I cope? she is sooo moody at only 3. Jonah really needs to practice his guitar more. My husband is so tired. I need to mop the floor tomorrow. Why has she not called ME! Its so still tonight, another windless night. God, my back is aching...! Man I need to get on my exercise bike. Why is it soooo quite. Did I pay the rates last month?.....mmmm.....yep I did......did I?.....I know I did.....!

Why has she not called me?.....she is probably having a week in her meditation sweat lodge thingy.....!
Need to get some more fruit trees, need to phone the soil testing guy AGAIN!! What is wrong with these people.....GWMwater suck...! Man do they love stuffing people around. I got to the bottom of the washing basket this week! yay for me.. Will get the rest of the weed mat around the vines this week. Need to make some fresh play-dough. Ring podiatrist, ring school uniforms. Clean the fridge again. Wipe down cupboards again, clean ash in fire place again. When I get hold of her she is going to get a bollicking!.... PLEASE..let me get hold of her.

Mana and Wayne's breathing is in unison...oh how cute. Finish pruning this week. Where the hell is she? SWEARING! Oh no! I have been awake for TWO hours...Just go to SLEEP Rebekah!!!

Now this is where it gets delusional....

How can I stop the Famine unfolding in Somali, surely I can do that. For gods sake...we eat TOO much food and they are starving...babies....kids....women....fathers....mothers....This world is so crazy.... How can I change this!...

So then the songs start:......

Dear god, hope you get the letter and...
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street
'Cause they don't get enough to eat from god
I can't believe in you


Go to SLEEP REBEKAH!! Its Been three HOURS. Why do I have a BLOG? I need a studio. I want to draw big. I want to use paint..! 


Dear god, sorry to disturb you but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
'Cause they can't make opinions meet about god
I can't believe in you


I love my family. I am so tired. Why can I not fix every thing. Time to clean the kids wardrobe again. Why can I not keep that stupid fruit bowl clean. GO TO SLEEP!


Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god don't know if you noticed but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't, and so do you
Dear god
I can't believe in
I don't believe


I want to cuddle my kids and NEVER let them go, but I can already feel them going..... LIfe is so complicated.


I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound
That father, son and holy ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'll perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in

It's you
Dear god 




Sleep......what the hell has happened to her?........sleep......save the world.....my husband is so tired. I am sooooo tired.....

O.K.... she just phoned.....her phone was dead and getting fixed...I hate sleepless nights.....(they make you think the ridiculous...