Thursday, March 15, 2012

Screaming.


I was floating in the middle of our dam yesterday evening. Just keeping my body coated in that warm top layer of water. An inch underneath my body, the coldness lurked with it's threat to compel me to scream, once again, as any part of my body penetrated it's freezing depths. 

The water was like black and silver slate, ripping lightly against the thick heat that was mustering in the air. 

I lay there with ears submerged, blocking the sounds of everything out there. Perfect peace. The clouds were moving fast, a soft white against the perfect blue. The above layer of clouds were moving north, while the lower layer was moving south and they were darker and thicker intensifying their moisture. Passing each other to their ultimate destination. The effect was surreal. But REAL.

It's soothing and stunning this majestic little lagoon of water and this maybe the last day of this hot summer weather, the last swim for this beautiful season as we move into the next.

For those moments I floated, I felt weightless. like a winged creature soaring backwards beneath the clouds. All sounds gone but for the tickling of water around my head. My focus on what was above me, only. My body felt so connected to the earth, I wished it was like this always. 

I don't know if words will really describe what I want to say here. Only that along with the beautiful peace, there was a vast healing and abstract sadness. That people rarely connect this way. That not all people get to feel this way.






When I did scream out, in my displeasure at the coldness, it gave me power and strength and unadorned delight, all at once. Wayne laughed at me. Mana paddled towards me with utter elation at her mothers exuberance. Jonah screamed with delight as he ran around the edge of the dam. And all of this.... set the dog off barking, with his own excitement at wanting to join in.

We were alive, with realness and nothing else mattered.

This is all I want for our children, all four of them, to feel this love from the earth, to know this realness, and that in their future they may know how to come back to this. To centre themselves. We can teach them this, this one thing....... Always, to know what's real. We teach them in our own reality.

9 comments:

  1. Sounds like a an amazing, very profound and moving experience, for all of you!

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  2. Wow,Your place sounds wonderful. Your own Dam?! I love your descriptive way of writing. You bring the moment to life and I can almost close my eyes and be there! I wish that all people could feel this connection to the earth too. We are not seperate entities in this mechanistic univeerse, we are an integral part of it.
    Rex I love your description of what art is. Our creative energy becomes blocked because we feel we aren't "good" at art when we compare ourselves to others. I have always felt that anyone can be an artist because it's a form of self expression. We just have to find the form of art we enjoy and those creative juices WILL flow!
    So I will quote your description of what art is whenever I hear anyone tell me they aren't creative!
    I have just read your August Post about your great Aunty.
    I'm off to comment on that too and to look around at as many of your other posts as possible! I relate to your philosophy on life Rex. Thankyou for recording it here!

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  3. Get it! - these moments happen seldom - but are exhilarating when they do and enlightening. We must hold them - these moments of simple clarity.

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  4. I could hop on a plane just to try it...Wish we were neighbors !

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  5. ohhhh perfect...those moments are just far to rare.. :)

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  6. Oh, this is perfect. This land will become a part of you if you let it and you live in a particularly special part of it. Its been sad to let go of summer with what will probably be its last show of strength.

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  7. Oh rex I'm sad that I missed out on dam swimming this year! Can't wait til next year. It sounds so blissful xx

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  8. Thank you all, and I am so glad I am not that I am the only one who gets this. xxxxxooooo

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