Irrational and Judgey.

In this heat, the perspiration is a annoying continuos gathering of moisture, that slides from my forehead, rolling down to the tip of my nose and wells across my eyebrows. The moment I wipe it away, it surfaces instantly. 

We are riding our bikes in the nearby state forest and just to let you know I am completely irrational and judgmental of these types of forests. I see them as stark, half cleared bush that could possibly harbor rednecks with guns, mine-shafts, and of course dead bodies. I just have to hear sate forest on the news and I am all freaked out because the word 'bones discovered' is often followed by it.  

I grew up with the protected national park around me, sort of like what a comforter is for some toddlers. There is no hunting, no clearing of bush, it's all protected. As I have mentioned before there was no major walking tracks near us either. It was all just a beautiful sanctuary to me. 

Where I grew up.

As we ride our bikes along the sandy roads, I have to concentrate on all the bumps and holes and sandy patches as I have Mana in the back in her seat too. The balance is tricky. I still ride my cross mountain bike that I bought when I was 20. Its a shogun and I pretty much adore it. It's has sentimental and personal memories. I have been riding it ever since. 


I used to ride the 4-km to take Jonah to play-group when we lived near the ocean. Play-group was held In a hall beside a grand church on a beautiful hill with a sweeping Irish like view of the coast. The kids Just ran a muck in this big long dusty old hall, a lot of the mums chugged away on their ciggies out on the ash-felted entrance. I took him every week, cause I new he needed social interaction, and he liked it, although he always watched from a distance. But he played in the sand box, he played with the play-dough, made stuff ,sat with everyone and made a few little friends that formed into good mates. I knew how important it all was.

He is in grade 5 now and we have choices and decisions to make. secondary school........

It's twisting my gut.

One is the private school with RE. Not really our thing. We looked at this one only because a lot of the kids from his current primary school go here. Jonah is the only one in his year level. It is an hours bus ride away and with a not so great principal at this time. 


So I pretty much started to like the idea he could go to the local secondary school. It has a lot of positives to it and I have been hearing a lot of good things about it. It's science and mechanical program for a start (Jonah insists he will be a Scientist). The principal is good also. 

There is only one slight problem with all this.......... It is the high school that I went to. Twenty one years ago.


Not the best experience in the world, but I started to believe that did not matter, that it would be ok. 


But....


Today I thought I would go on-line to check out the two schools we are deciding between for Jonah. The moment I opened up the site for my old school and it showed the front entrance I immediately got all twitchy and then just tears and then I cried and cried. Did not see that coming, at all. The hallways, the classrooms the whole bloody place. I walked away from it and had never looked back. 


But now, I have a judgmental and irrational view of this place. It could harbor so much. Like a state forest.


So what am I to do with that.